The Beginning
I was put on birth control 6 years before I became sexually active. I infiltrated my body with “hormones”, masking my body’s own natural rhythm. I have no idea what my period was like for most of my teens. I wish I had learned to listen to my body, know my body, and trust my body. Using my period as a source of bodily intuition. Maybe some of my future hormonal and fertility issues would have been avoided. But that’s not how my story played out.
I remember feeling an intense pain in my lower abdomen. I was hunched over on my bed. My mom was sitting across from me with a worried expression. She asked me to name the pain 1-10. I can’t recall the number I gave but it was high enough to warrant a trip to the ER. After getting admitted, I met with the emergency room doctor. He gave me a full exam and determined it was an ovarian cyst that had burst.
The cyst rupture coupled with my painful period history resulted in me being prescribed birth control pills at age 15. A tiny little pill that would make all my womanly problems disappear. And they did. Poof. Gone. I no longer had painful, debilitating periods. Once a month prior to the pill, the cramps at times would be so intense I would have to leave school early.
I have learned over the years that our periods are a woman’s super sense. Men don’t have this. This is unique to women and it’s our superpower. What a powerful resource we have, to be able to tap into to let us know how our body is operating both physically and energetically. What if bad, painful, irregular periods are our body’s way of screaming at us that there is a problem. And instead of listening, we take a pill that shuts the screaming up.
But what if after YEARS of stopping the screaming we want to get back to our natural cycle. For many it’s because of one major life decision, starting a family. For many, like myself, getting off birth control brought the screaming back, back with vengeance.
My story is not unique. This same situation has played out for many women I have encountered over the years. Same old story. Put on birth control in early teens for reasons other than being sexually active. Acne? Here’s a pill. Painful periods? We have a pill for that. Migraine headaches? Let me prescribe something for you.
I am not anti birth control. It serves a purpose and for girls who decide to have sex it can help protect them from unwanted pregnancies.
But I am anti over prescribing and using it as the first line of defense. I am against putting teen girls on the pill that are not sexually active and with no educational component. If you put a teen on birth control they should be given more guidance on what exactly it is doing to their bodies.
And that suppressing the root cause of why they are having issues in the first place won’t make the issue go away. And that years down the road when they are trying to start a family their baby plans may be delayed because they finally are going to have to deal with the root cause of their period problems.
Instead of googling best baby shower registry items, they will be going down a deep dark google rabbit hole of trying to figure out how to regulate their hormones and get their natural cycle back on track.
I learned alot about myself, menstrual cycles, hormones, and the pitfalls of western medicine when a woman is struggling to conceive.
I got off of birth control in August of 2018. Shortly after my one year wedding anniversary. I was happy to have had that first year of marriage just me and my husband. But we were ready to start a family.
I was meant to be a mom. I knew it in my bones. I knew it from a young age. As far back as I can remember, I loved playing with baby dolls and any imaginative play surrounding being a mom. I loved dressing them up, taking them for stroller rides, and playing pretend carpool up and down my driveway with my bike.
Motherhood is not for everyone. Some women don’t feel the call to become a mother. And that’s a wonderful choice too for some. It’s empowering to know something is not aligned for you and stick to this knowing rather than cave to societal pressure to have children simply because you were born with the proper anatomical parts.
It’s a blessing to have clarity into your innermost wants and needs. It takes courage to live according to your wants no matter what or who tells you otherwise.
For me though, I knew I was destined to be a mom. I knew I would not be whole if I did not have children in my life to love and raise. So when I got off birth control, I was beyond excited to start trying.
Many of my friends got off birth control and got pregnant right away. So that could happen to me, right? But deep down I had a knowing that my journey to motherhood would not be as smooth of a ride as it was for my friends.
Within a month of getting off birth control, I was flooded with a host of symptoms including intense brain fog, night sweats, terrible headaches and head pressure, facial hair growth, insatiable thirst, body fatigue and overall very low energy, irregular and very long cycles between periods most being over 44 days.
And at some point ending up back where I was when I was 15, in the doctor’s office hunched over in intense pain. After an examination, I learned that I had an ovarian cyst burst. Pretty ironic that I was put on birth control because of these hormonal symptoms and over 15 years later what brought me back to the doctor was those very symptoms.
For over a year, I had to go get ultrasounds of my uterus to monitor cyst growths to make sure another would not get big enough to burst. One would appear on my left ovary and then the next appointment it would be getting smaller but then another would appear on my right ovary. I was lucky though that I did not suffer from another burst cyst.
I tried to get to the bottom of it with my obgyn. She listened to my symptoms and assured me they did not have to do with any negative effects from getting off birth control. Which I guess is technically true. The birth control didn’t cause these symptoms. But I have to wonder spending so many years putting a bandaid on my symptoms with birth control did that exacerbate my hormonal issues once I finally took the bandaid off. I still don’t know the answer to that.
According to my labs everything was normal and I was perfectly healthy. The doctors assured me all my hormonal ranges were “normal.” But I did not feel like a normal, healthy 31 year old.
At one point I think I bullied my ob into a diagnosis of PCOS because I desperately needed answers to why my body was behaving the way it was. And if I had a diagnosis then I could fix it. Looking back I don’t think I even had PCOS even though I had some of the markers.
At another time in my hormonal regulating journey another obgyn suggested getting on the pill to regulate my cycle. I literally wanted to pull my hair out with this suggestion.
I wanted a baby. How could going on birth control pills help me to have a baby? Yes, they could help me with my terrible symptoms. Yes, my horrible headaches might go away. Sure, my cyst problems might be gone. But going on the pill would not help me fulfill my dreams of becoming a mother. It would just further delay my plans.
This suggestion made absolutely no sense to me and left me feeling alone, misunderstood, and defeated.
When you are struggling to conceive and many of your friends around you are pregnant, it can be a very sad and lonely place to be. You are genuinely happy for your friends and at the same time in a state of utter sadness about your situation. When I was struggling to conceive, 6 women close to me in my life were pregnant. I felt isolated, alone, and didn’t know where to go for answers.
I knew I couldn’t get the proper help I needed from western medicine. So I sought the help from a naturopath doctor someone had recommended. Paying out of pocket was incredibly expensive. I feel lucky that we were in a financial place where we could pay for this individualized care. My heart goes out to anyone who knows finding a functional doctor would be in their best interest but does not have the financial means to do it.
My naturopath doctor was a godsend. I finally felt heard and seen. Even if working with her didn’t work, at least I felt like someone was in my corner trying to get to the root cause of my hormonal issues. She took every symptom I had into careful consideration and didnt gaslight me into thinking it was just a normal effect of getting off birth control. It was so validating because my experience felt anything but normal.
I now have a better understanding of the pitfalls of western medicine. It is not designed to get to the root cause. At least in my experience with my particular health insurance. Doctors unfortunately don’t have the bandwidth. Appointment times are so short and they have so many patients.
I now understand western medicine has its pros and its place and functional, holistic medicine has its place. I don’t believe one is better than the other, they just operate differently. I just wished we were at a stage in healthcare where the two types of practices could marry and there could be more collaboration and cohesion between the two.
I do not know if the prescribing of birth control pills as the first line of defense for non sexually active teens is still occurring. If I had to guess I would say yes. I have two small girls and I am prepared to educate them as they get older and enter puberty. Because they are so young I have not done a ton of research around this topic but my hope is that there is more education and resources available for young teens surrounding the power of our menstrual cycles and using it as a health indicator.
I do feel grateful for how much I learned through my hormonal struggles and how that knowledge will be handy when the time comes to educate my girls.
I conquered my fertility struggles and went on to have two healthy beautiful daughters. After finding my naturopath I had hope but I was still quite a ways away from reaching my goal of conception. But I will save that story for my next entry.
Thanks for reading. My hope is that sharing my story will help women struggling to conceive feel less alone in some way.
Or can help mothers of teen girls who are having period problems become aware of the negative effect that covering up their problems with birth control can have on their hormonal issues down the road.
I wish I had stopped birth control years before I wanted to start a family. Rather than wait till I was ready and really wanted a baby. Because for some women that have been on birth control for years it may take time, research, and support to get your natural cycle and fertility back on track.
I hope sharing my story can help others not wait but rather be more proactive in regaining their natural cycle in a less frustrating and pressured way. My advice to anyone that wants to start a family in the next few years, get off birth control sooner than when you want to start trying.
It can be an enjoyable experience reconnecting with your natural body’s cycle when you don’t feel the pressure of your maternal clock ticking.
Until next time..
Sending love and gratitude,
Dominique